“Merry Christmas!” says a smiling face as I take my packet I bought for a good friend. The carefully chosen doll was weighed against the other items in the shop and had won out by a cuteness factor of ten. It was so cute, I was tempted to keep it myself. 🙂 My startled gaze creates an odd juxtaposition with the presents in my arms. While I obviously had Christmas on the mind, I didn’t seem to have wholly absorbed the fact that Christmas was, in fact, only 2 days away. Mind and body or even mind and mind do not always align.
We’re spending our holidays at my in-laws in a country not my own. Everything is lovely, familiar and new. We’ve visited a few times now, but this is the first time where I’ve felt confident about going out on my own and exploring the town. The winding roads that dead-end, the narrow sidewalks and magically appearing cars around corners no longer frighten me like the times past. Striding down the street purposefully made me feel more like I was at home than most anything else.
Jet-lag means tiredness and odd wake-up times, but it also means a giant hammer striking against your fragile self-esteem. Inadequacies are hard things to ignore when your rose tinted glasses are scratched blind.
But they’re so much easier to deal with when you’re able to breathe and take them off for a bit. The world is full of bumps and slight dips but nature and people have a way of filling them in with color, life and novelty. When we’re running about our day-to-day lives we miss the details. The things we do notice, ripped up roads, piles of leaves and broken verges are usually taken with a cringe, a frown and a general air of obstruction. What ought to be beautiful, our own lives, are relegated to the mundane and chore-list of life.
And the only thing I can do is remind myself to lift the scratched lenses from my eyes.