Waking with grey skies across dull eyes,
Blanket weighs heavily on weak limbs.
Coffee mugs scattered across cluttered surfaces.
One after another, brown rings overlapping into moons.
But no moon rises for a new day to begin.
I’m feeling low.
A silhouette that’s fading around the edges.
Dark smudges, opaque with fears, sadness and loathing.
Sugar highs pass like brief sunbursts through weeping clouds.
Floods soon follow and loathing roars with triumph.
Rainbows are for the morning. A hope held between limp hands.
The clock ticks down the hours.
Shake the grains loose one more time.
And I hadn’t even hit the alarm yet.
I had a very bad night with little rest and the grey skies today aren’t helping me bounce back. I know that waiting it out and getting back to a routine will help me, but it’s so hard sometimes to just get through the day. My brain knows one thing but my emotions are saying another and it’s hard to shut them off.
So I’m having a lot of tea and coffee and trying to stop the sugar binge from destroying my self-esteem. I wish there was a way to just “get over it” all, but that way lies deception. Accepting where I am and feeling it for the moment as what I am makes me stronger. There’s always tomorrow.
And if not that, another.
Cup of tea, that is. 😉