iscribblings

Charting life's circuitous path

Reclaiming Spaces

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I can’t imagine how many hours I’ve spent sitting in front of a monitor.  My parents encouraged our interests in science and technology and so my childhood was filled with my brother’s chemistry sets, Atari game cartridges and the spare parts of a Commodore 64.

When I was little, we had a computer, but it only had one game (“Temple of Apshai“) and the other “games” were about as fun as a stack of math cards (one such game was given the optimistic title “Math Blaster,” although the more apt title of “Math Blister” probably wouldn’t have sold well).  Our family wasn’t very rich, so anything that even resembled Nintendo was always coveted but never obtained.  Atari, while amusing, didn’t hold the attention of a 7 year old for very long.

As I grow older, I have become even more plugged in.  I wake up and immediately turn on our main computer (which has its own name).  The computer stays on all day unless we leave for work or go out for extended periods.  I even have a sciatic nerve that tingles down my right leg, probably from sitting at odd angles.  Annoying?  Yes.  Wish I didn’t have it?  Definitely.  But I’m a bit glad I do, actually.  It reminds me of the damage all of that sitting was causing me from day to day.  I’d wake up, sit down and not budge except for food or the occasional stretch. I was steadily gaining weight and my eyes were worsening.

I still wake up and log-on, but only for as long to feel steady, like a compass pointing north after a night of tossing.  Then, I get up and do chores, exercise or keep myself busy in ways that don’t include sitting.  Days feel longer now and I feel less stressed since I get many of the little things done.

So, with all of my talk about changing habits, tossing out old clothes and exercising more, it might come as a surprise to learn that I still have one dirty little secret.

I fill my desktop with food.  😳

Images, scans, photos of food.  Hardly anything off limits and all full of fat, calories and forbidden ingredients.

Here’s one example:

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That’s my Pinterest board pre-purge.  It was filled with cakes, sugar, desserts and pies.  I had followed the boards of others who pinned sumptuous desserts and I opened my pinboard every day to view their delights.  Sure, I’d tell myself it was for that pithy Doctor Who pin or that blue ocean dreamscape, but my eyes would rove over each image eagerly for the next sugar “hit”.  It was almost like an addiction.  Once I started to view the food, I was a hand-in-the-cookie-bag step away from downfall.

So now my pinboard looks like this:

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There’s still food there, but it’s more artistic.  It doesn’t make me crave what I would normally avoid with ease.  It isn’t sabotaging my efforts and making me hate myself. Instead, it’s filled with images that make me wonder, make me happy, and make me smile.  For once, I can see all those other pins that were being drowned by icing.

Then there was my Yahoo page.  Before, I subscribed to feeds that displayed cakes, recipes and food.  Well, that got a makeover, too.

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Now my email is surrounded by things that reinforce good things. I can go see a movie, hope for a hockey season, or fawn over a, well, fawn.

Do I still have those little bastions of sweetness and cravings?

Here’s my Google reader:

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I’ve yet to touch this last stalwart page, but I have a feeling that soon it, too, will have to go.  I might keep those sites bookmarked in a folder, but at least they won’t be out to tempt me.

Oh, yes, and if you think that I’m keeping myself too tightly reigned:

There’s a bowl in the fridge of homemade brown butter chocolate chip cookies just waiting to be baked.  😈

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Author: iscribbler

A girl scribbling her way through health, love, food and life.

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