After the agonizing mall trip to find a suit that would “just do,” I didn’t consider how much I would love swimming. Not that what I do in the pool can be called swimming by any stretch of the imagination. Clinging desperately to my green-speckled float board and frantically kicking my feet whilst sinking does not qualify me for the Olympics. The thought that the suit would hang in my closet for the rest of the summer wasn’t a foreign one. I bought them on a whim and for a “just in case” scenario, but now I’m glad that I “took the plunge”.
Our apartment pool is located in a semi-private space with tall trees and a brick wall blocking our pale selves from the innocent passerby. They have fiesta parties and grill-outs by the pool, but we’ve never attended. I think deep down, I felt too embarrassed even to go near the pool – the wall and iron gate were barriers I willingly embraced.
Earlier, I had made a pact with my hubby that if there were a lot of people, we’d turn right around. I kept telling myself that buying the suit took more courage than I had exhibited before, and that I should be proud, but I knew I had something else to prove. I wanted to do something that scared me in its danger (drowning is one of my top fears) and to show that I had changed.
The warm day was perfect for swimming, but as we walked to the pool, trepidation thrummed down my spine making me feel slightly chilled. The weight lifted off my chest as I spied no one splashing about. Walking through that black gate felt transitional. I hadn’t considered using a pool since I was eight and unself-conscious. It was at my mother’s friend’s house, so even if I did feel embarrassed, it would have been with friends and in privacy. Now, I was in a public pool (albeit empty), and with a swimsuit (albeit a modest one).
And I had fun! 😀 So much fun, that an hour of thrashing about in some semblance to swimming felt like only fifteen minutes. I was out of breath with a heaviness in my bones that signaled a great workout. I couldn’t wait to get back in. We’ve so far hopped into the pool every day this week. It’s also a lot more enjoyable to be exercising with my hubby at the same time. We do our own exercises at home, but we get to interact in such a way at the pool that’s more connected.
The biggest coup? I stayed in the pool even when other people appeared. Was I nervous? Definitely, but I owned my nervousness and after a while I just ignored them. Was I proud?
What do you think? 😈