I know that a few weeks is only a drop in the bucket compared to what lies ahead, but these last few weeks have been a great exercise regimen for my brain.
Get ready for it . . .
I’ve been complimenting myself! 😯
So I know that perfectly sane and normal people do this all the time.
“I love my hair!” Someone might say after going to get it cut. Or, gasp, even: “I love how I look in this outfit!”
For me, the thoughts are typically of the self-assessment type where I’m critiquing what could change and bemoaning my bad luck.
What seems like a wallow in narcissism is actually a massive step forward for me. There were times this week where I actually felt proud for what I’ve done with my health and weight this past year and a half.
I’ve had a few notable moments where I actually felt comfy in my own skin and that, for me, is a wonderful, glorious thing! The thoughts weren’t always so clearly stated, but they showed up as a contented feeling when I observed myself by chance. A “Hm, my arms look nice” here or an “Okay, I can take those calves – they’re quite smaller than I thought” there.
Sure, these happy moments were framed by a few negative, but to actually look down at my legs and not mind them even 10% of the time is like finally loving brussel sprouts after a lifetime of disdain. It’s unbelievable and I can’t believe how empowering it makes me feel, if even only for that moment. (Btw, I find it unbelievable that I actually like my legs MORE than brussel sprouts. I mean, who’d have thunk? 😐 )
That, folks, makes me feel much more powerful in my seemingly endless fight with my brain and food.
I’ve had a lot of battles this week with the temptation of food. There were many days where we could have eaten out. I came this close to doing a late night run on Friday and a donut run this morning, but I held out. I stuck with my normal routine and ate at home. This left me a bit cranky for a short time, but afterwards I was extremely proud of myself. (I’ve also found that promising myself something special later has helped. Looking forward to a treat keeps me from indulging in something in-between times. Hopefully this little technique works for me for a while longer.)
I’ve also been focusing heavily on the good thoughts that have surprised me to reinforce the “good” behavior. It’s helped to a degree because I know that if I falter too often, I’ll be back to where I was and that wasn’t a good place. By focusing on the few positives, I’m hoping to make thinking them more natural. Hating myself and bashing parts of me with criticism has been my “way” for so long, that I know it won’t be an overnight success. Still, one step at a time.