Charting life's circuitous path

Isn’t it tough enough as it is?

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I came across the preview for the new reality show “Shedding for the Wedding” via Sweetnicks blog today and was appalled.  On many levels.

Level 1:  Isn’t a wedding difficult enough as it is?

I mean, seriously.  The planning, the guests, the tension and the anticipation are all supposed to be through the roof before the wedding and now they want to add mutual weight loss?  It’s not a surprise that the woman in the pair wants to lose weight – that seems to be the rite of passage for many brides as is (my thoughts on this later).

However, this show seems to take it to new extremes: one couple even states “If we don’t win this, then we probably won’t have a wedding.”

Um, excuse me? Why?  Why does losing equate to no wedding?  This sound clip is obviously out of context, so it remains to be seen what he really meant by it, but it does give you an impression of the type of person this show is cultivating: a person that values winning over happiness and one that equates being thin to being happy.

Level 2: Isn’t being married difficult enough as it is?

Marriage is difficult.  In a lot of ways, I’d say it’s even more difficult than living together unmarried.  When you’re married, you become a state of being: married.  It’s about being together, working together, the legal aspect of being together, and trying to find your own definition for marriage.  It’s everything rolled up into one and even those that have lived together before their marriage might feel the dynamic differently when marriage becomes a part of it (“might” being the key word here since not all couples are created equal).

Marriage can also be the best state of being there possibly could be. 🙂

But to add weight into it?  To make weight the foundation for the marriage?  To make not just one (which is bad enough), but two people insecure individuals?  Over weight?  I can understand the health side of the issue (as one man in the clip claims), but I’m not sure if establishing the idea that marriage hinges on weight loss is a, well, healthy one.

Level 3:  Honestly, do we need to reinforce the idea that brides need to be skinny?

Isn’t the groom marrying the bride for who she is?  On the one hand, it’s great that they’re doing it together, but on the other, it’s adding to the stereotype that a happy wedding is a skinny wedding.  And if a happy bride is a skinny bride, then the happy wife is a skinny wife and the cycle continues.

My mother has this green dress that she wore at her “wedding” – they signed papers in front of a justice just like we did at our “wedding.”  She’s taken it out on occasion and each time it’s always prefaced with “I used to fit into that.”  She’s still happily married, although she’s never been happy with her weight and the weight issue has always been a part of my life (I could never fit into the dress and that’s always been a sore point with me).  (Course, at my wedding I wore this puckered yellow top even though I disliked it because it was the only thing “fancy” in my wardrobe at the time.  It’s much too big for me now, and I don’t envision any fond reminisces about it in the near future.)

Just imagine what these families are going to be like after the show. And imagine how many more would-be-brides are going to feel even more self-conscious than they already do about their bodies and about their weight.

Will I watch this? No.  Just like how I won’t watch The Biggest Loser or any other self-degrading “reality” programming.  Will this get a second season? Probably.  Will more people feel insecure? Definitely.

Author: iscribbler

A girl scribbling her way through health, love, food and life.

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